


Three blind targs

by ArbusVanPoe, Captaintwerrk



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Baby Fic, Gen, baaaabaiees, end of five year mission, fluff?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-16 10:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1344709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArbusVanPoe/pseuds/ArbusVanPoe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captaintwerrk/pseuds/Captaintwerrk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk finds a 'defective' Klingon baby during the last bit of their five year mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Muffin Man

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Captaintwerrk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captaintwerrk/gifts).



When Leonard found Jim standing in the hallway of the sanctuary, his face filled with horror, frozen almost like he had been punched in the gut, the wind knocked right out of him, two things crossed his mind. _What happened to Jim, why isn’t that idiot running?_ He quickly moved to his best friends side looking into his eyes for the answers.

                “Jim, what’s wrong dammit!? We’ve got to get out of here!” he shook the man’s shoulders but he didn’t move. “James!” Jim slowly turned his head meeting Leonard’s hazel eyes.

                “They kill them Bones! They kill the babies!”

                “What are you talking about, they are having a huge ceremony right now to celebrate their little bastards, remember, the perfect time for us to sneak into their base, get in get out.” He tried to tug him away but Jim only pointed through the nursery window. A lone Klingon baby lay in a tank, a red light glowing, words defective flashing above. “I saw them doing it to one, right before the ceremony, God Bones there was nothing I could do! That one’s next!” Leonard had to look away from the tears forming in his Captain’s eyes. “Bones please, we’ve got to do something!”

                “Dammit alright, stay here, watch my back,” He didn’t know why he didn’t make his dumb best friend do it, all he knew is that he couldn’t handle that look on Jim’s face. Instead he slipped into the nursery, looking around for stray Klingons before waltzing up to the container. “Aw, well ain’t you a cutie, no wonder yer a defective on this planet, you’re the cutest little Klingon I ever did see,” He cooed scooping up the dusky colored infant. “Come here, little guy, you’re okay, you little muffin man.” He couldn’t help but nuzzle the little guy… or girl he wasn’t sure yet, before tucking him/her, against his chest and quickly ducking out. “Okay I stole the baby now what?” he hissed as the sound of footsteps echoed down the corridor.

                “We run, let’s go,” Jim hissed grabbing Bones’ arm and pulling him quickly down the hallway. They reached their shuttle, Spock standing in the door way, Uhura shouting for them to hurry up behind him. When the doors shut Jim pulled Bones over to the closest seat, gripping the arm rests and shielding their ‘souvenir’ with his body until they had lifted off.

                “What are you hiding, what’s wrong?” Uhura started in the second they were in the clear.

                “Um…” Jim turned around extending his arms. “Um…” A loud coo echoed through the ship and Jim blushed. “Bones please, contain yourself.”

                “Okay, before this gets any further, this was not my idea!” Leonard called out.

                “Jim move,” Uhura pushed the captain aside and gasped. “You stole a baby!?” Her shriek startled the little thing and its lip began to tremble.

                “Oh, no, no, little one, don’t cry Darlin’, the angry lady didn’t mean it,” Bones shifted the baby in his arms cradling it close to his chest. Spock turned from the pilot’s seat trying to see around both Jim and Uhura but was unsuccessful.

                “They were going to kill it Uhura!” Jim cried placing her hands on her shoulders. “I couldn’t save the first one, but I couldn’t leave…” Uhura sighed pinching the bridge of her nose.

                “And I thought the last stop on our five year mission would be an easy one,” She muttered turning and taking a seat next to Spock.


	2. the big (anti climatic) reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short reveal

                “Where are you going Bonsey?”

                “I’m taking the little… thing to the med bay, check it over, see why they find ‘em defective.”

                “Why the medbay, it’s so loud and scary… and stabby.”

                “You’re just trying to avoid your post mission checkup, but tough who am I to deny M’Benga the joys of getting to torture you, he seldom gets the chance.” Jim grimaced and sulked, usually he’d just run off and hide, but he didn’t really want to leave the baby. Together Leonard and Jim made a tiny nest for the baby in the middle of the bio bed, it was a squirmy little thing, that was for sure.

                “Alright, first things first, boy or girl, boy or girl,” Leonard looked over at Jim, who looked back, then up behind Leonard’s shoulder. Nervously the doctor turned and rolled his eyes. Uhura, Spock, Chaple, M’Benga, and Rand all stood behind him watching silently. “Do you people mind, it’s a baby, not a space anomaly.”

                “Same thing,” Geoffrey shrugged, Leonard let out a long dramatic sigh before turning and undoing the infants diaper.

                “It’s a girl!” Jim shouted throwing his hands up in the air. “Congratulations doctor, we’ve got a girl!”

                “We? We? Oh no, this is all yours kid, I’ve already got a little girl of my own, I’m not taking care of another one.” Bones grumped, “now will everyone please scatter back to what you are supposed to be doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In order to keep myself motivated, every time I feel like I don't know what else to write I move to the next chapter. I wanted to make this longer but I have work in the morning. Also I am using the AOS characters (Urban, Pine, Quinto, Saladena) But i like to throw in my favorite characters from TOS.


	3. Baby sitters club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was going to be longer but I got writers block, so I'll come back to this concept later... plus this thing needs a name. Hope nobody minds my best friends OC cameo.

Leonard McCoy was always speaking too soon, and he thought he learned his lesson every time, however, evidence showed he still hadn’t. Evidence being the gurgling monster perched on his knee as he tried to fill out paper work. Jim had a bunch of meetings with the Admirals, leaving him… with the baby… taking care of another one. He sighed as a slimy fist knocked papers onto the floor and leaned back in the chair, picking her up from under her armpits and holding her over his face.

                “Now this is where you throw up lil’ Darlin’,” he spoke sternly, before bringing her close and kissing her nose, when he pulled her back she was smiling. Human standards she was a happy healthy six month old baby… kidnapped from a Klingon Ceremony, where she was going to be terminated… they’d probably leave that part out when telling the grandparents. Oh man. He was sunk. Telling the Grandparents!? No, this was not his, not his baby at all! She was all Jim’s, he was just playing the part of grumpy drunk uncle, that was all. “You’ve got yerself a pretty little smile, yes you do, yes you do!” He couldn’t help but coo up at her, rubbing his nose against her round little one.

             “Um Doctor?” A nurse called from the door,  at the same moment the baby slapped the side of his head giggling and wrapped her fingers around a lock of his hair in a vice like grip, there was no moving her.

             “Yes nurse,” he sat up speaking with as much authoritative force he could muster from behind a baby. “Um…” He couldn’t see her face but if she was smiling dammit, he’d make her regret it. “The Captain says the Admirals would like to speak with you… he also said not to bring… the baby.”

            “Not to bring the baby!? Well what am I supposed to do with it!?”

            “Nurse Kent seems like a good choice, she is a Neonatal Specialist, and she is about to go off duty.”

           “Alright, help me get free of this little things fists of fury, then send her in.” he ordered. The nurse quickly crossed the room and slowly uncurled the babies fingers from his hair, McCoy took a moment after the Nurse left to look back down at the baby and say his goodbyes. “Alright Little Lady, despite what I said earlier about not taking care of you, I will be back, you be good alright? Alright. I know you will be…” He let out a sigh rubbing his forehead.

           “Oh. My. God!” Nurse Kent’s squeal echoed throughout the medbay.

           “Ophelia, you saw her this morning remember? Are you going to do that every time you see her?”

           “Oh most definitely sir,” Ophelia answered crossing the room and scooping the startled baby up. “Have fun at your meeting!” She called over her shoulder as she walked away.

           “No wait, wait, wait, are you sure you know what you are doing?”

           “Really Doctor?” Ophelia raised her eyebrows incredulous and he rolled his eyes, he should really keep his nurses away from Chaple, she was instilling them with a ‘No fear of the CMO’ attitude and that just wasn’t going to fly. 


	4. The Name Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bah. I don't know.  
> We have figured out our poor defective babies name AND defects.  
> It was a good day for the team... which is really just me...  
> FYI there is literally nothing wrong with any of the names I picked, I actually love all of them, so um... yeah...

                “Who’d you leave Vivian with?” Jim asked meeting Bones outside of the meeting room.

                “Vivian?” Leonard raised his eyebrow.

                “Yeah, I thought it’d be a good name for her.”

                “Think again,” he scoffed shutting Jim down.

                “Well what do you have in mind _good_ Doctor,” Jim shot back slightly dejected.

                “Lily,” He huffed crossing his arms.

                “No. Nope. No. I dated a Lily once,” Jim shook his head.

                “Jesus Jim if we exclude the names of all the women you slept with, we’ll have to name her something like Bob.”

                “You know what, whatever, we’ll talk about it after the meeting, where is the little midget anyway?”

                “With Nurse Kent,” Leonard answered quickly, rushing into the conference room. The senior officers all sat around the large table, a holo of each admiral hung in the middle where they all could see. Leonard was… kind of listening, when his PADD buzzed, an IM from Jim.

                _Clara?_

_-JK_

_No way, remember what happened to the last Clara we knew?_

_How about Juliette?_

_-LM_

_Um really!? No, I’m not naming her after a horny fourteen year old girl. Diane?_

_-JK_

_Meh. What is she an office temp?_

_Margaret?_

_-LM_

_Aurora?_

_-JK_

_Briar Rose, Sleeping Beauty? Lets set her up for some Somnophilia why don’t we?_

_-LM_

_Although I doubt intentional, you seem to have added my PADD frequency to the list in your conversation, so I feel inclined to add my own contribution. I believe Clementine is a rather adequate sounding name._

_-Spock_

Leonard and Jim both raised their heads and looked over to Spock, who was looking between them expectantly. The two men then met eyes over the table.

                “Yes,” The both nodded.

                “Excuse me?” Admiral Davis asked.

                “Er Um, sorry Admiral, as you were saying…” Jim blushed looking back down at his PADD.

                _Clementine Riley McCoy-Kirk_

_-JK_

_*CMO LEONARD MCCOY IS UNAVAILABLE*_

Jim furrowed his eyebrows looking over to Bones who avoided his gaze until they were dismissed. He thought he’d have to chase after Leonard once out of the conference room but was surprised to find him waiting.

                “Jim do you realize what kind of commitment this kid will be? It’s one thing to take care of her until we get home, but for a lifetime, that’s a totally different thing. And why do you want this thing with me? Huh?”

                “I don’t know-”

                “Why am I being pulled into this? You are always pulling me into things!”

                “I didn’t mean… It’s not like that… I don’t know-”

                “No why, why Jim?”

                “Bones, I don’t-”

                “If you want to do this you’ve got to give me a good reason!” The words hardly left his mouth before Jim was responding, his resolve snapping.

                “Because I love you Leonard! God okay, I love you, and I want to be with you, like with you, with you, forever, alright!?” Jim blushed turning away quickly.

                “No wait, Jesus Kid, let me absorb,” McCoy answered grabbing Jim’s arm and pulling him back. “You, love me?” Jim nodded looking down at their feet. “Well you didn’t have to trap with a baby, _‘gay edition’_ , I love you too.” He pulled his best friend into a tight hug, definitely not giggling when Jim nuzzled his neck.

                “We can still keep her though right?” Jim mumbled against his skin.

                “What’s another infant on board?” Leonard sighed tilting his head down to meet Jim’s lips.


	5. The Baby sitters club (Mark II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to make Spock popping up places a thing.  
> It's too amusing not to be.  
> Also last night I noticed some places where words were missing, don't know what the hell that's about, but I have fixed it, so sorry if you were like.... whaaaaaaat? I fixed it.

                “Bones, didja know, by the time she is a year old, she’ll be the size of a human four year old.” Jim spoke up the next day, poking his head into Leonard’s office.

                “That we know of Jim, but we still don’t know what her defect is, by those standards she should be walking by now… where is she anyways?”

                “Oh Lieutenant Hannon has her,” Jim shrugged.

                “Lieutenant Hannon? As in down in engineering, as in hanging out with Scotty and Keenser?”

                “Yeah why not, we trust ‘em with our ship, why not trust ‘em with your baby?”

                “Jesus Jim, I don’t know, because they tend to blow things up and dangle off things like freakin’ spider monkeys!” Leonard snapped standing up. “I’ll be back!” he shouted storming out, Jim trailing him all the way down to the turbo lift, where Spock was already boarding.

                “Doctor, Captain,” he nodded. “I see the Captain has displeased you once again.”

                “He left Clementine with the Engineers!” McCoy blew up once again.

                “Aw come on Bones, they are probably some of the best baby sitters!”

                “You know… I would not be averse to helping you take care of the young Klingon, I have been somewhat fascinated by her since you first brought her aboard the shuttle craft.” The Vulcan spoke staring straight ahead, almost timidly.

                “What… really?” Jim asked shocked.

                “You would take care of the baby?” Leonard added, both looking between the Vulcan and themselves not sure they had heard him right.

                “Yes, I believe I would enjoy supervising the infant.” He clasped his hands behind his back still not meeting either man’s eye.

                “Well… wow… uh, I don’t see why not, I mean when yer not on shift…” Jim shrugged looking over to Bones who shrugged as well.

                “Good I will take her tomorrow morning before your Alpha shift, good day,” Spock nodded as the lift stopped and he stepped off. They watched him stride off until the doors closed before staring at each other open mouthed. They both snapped out of it however when the lift opened on engineering, and a loud war like scream assaulted their ears.

                “What the hell is that?” McCoy shouted covering his ears as it started up again.

                “I don’t know!” Jim answered. They quickly ran through the maze of machinery down a cat walk until they were blasted from the source. Scotty was covering his ears smiling like an idiot, while Keenser sat perched on water cooler, and  Lieutenant Hannon hung upside down from a slender pipe, swinging Clementine back and forth, hands securely tucked under her armpits, fingers wrapped gently around her little ribs.

                “Ooh, look it’s the rents, show ‘em yer scream Lemmy!” Lieutenant Hannon beamed. Clementine looked up at Jim and Bones before letting out a manly roar. “Good girl, that was the best so far!”

                “Okay, two things, if you are going to hold the baby, be planted firmly on the ground, secondly, what the hell was that?” Jim crossed the space quickly scooping Clementine up and hugging her close.

                “Really Captain? It’s the Klingon roar, babies do it to express joy.” She straightened her legs gracelessly flopping down onto the metal grating and popping back up crossing her arms.

                “Um, how many babies have you been around kid?” McCoy scrutinized, before turning to the bundle of impossible cuteness in Jim’s arms.

                “Alien babies are kind of a hobby of mine,” She shrugged.

                “Yeah, okay… creepy, thanks, now we know who to go to if we have any questions, thanks Hannon, Scotty, Keenser, we’ll take it from here.” Leonard grumbled turning Jim’s shoulder and leading them both away.

                “Um wait, if I may add one more thing!” The Lieutenant called out, her tone made the doctor stop, and turn. “Usually a Klingon baby’s scream is much louder than that… I don’t know what that means, but I’d look into it.” Bones nodded then turned walking the rest out of the way out.

                “What does she mean?” Jim asked nervously once the turbo lift doors closed. Clementine was settling down, her head resting against his chest, fist tightening around his tunic.

                “I don’t know Jim, she’s an engineer, not a pediatrician.”

                “Oh so now you’re naming other peoples jobs hm?” Jim teased.

                “We will do some more scans on her, but I didn’t want to stress her out too much her first days with us.” He held his hands out and Jim reluctantly passed her over.

                “Hey there lil’ Darlin,” he rubbed his nose against hers before kissing her cheeks. “How’s my little Clementine doin’?”

                “ _Your_ little Clementine?” Jim chimed in, pulling her over to kiss her face, hands ontop of Leonard’s. Suddenly a horrid smell filled the turbo lift, causing both men to blanch. “Yup, Yours alright, you got this buddy.” Jim pushed her back towards Bones who promptly tried to return her to Kirk.

                “Nuh uh, I did it last night, it’s your turn.”

                “Bones, theres no even duty, no equality when taking care of a baby, it’s a team sport yes, but sometimes you’ve gotta pull a little more weight than the others at times. Yer defense, I’m offense, and right now, the balls heading towards the goal, it’s all on you now man!”

                “No don’t worry, I’ve already gotten the ball out of there, it’s all on offense now, to take it to the other side.”

                “Nope you know what now you are the opposing teams defense and I’m bringing her back to you.”

                “Okay you know what, this is not a sport. She is not sports equipment. We are grown ass men, we will settle this like grown ass men do.”

                “Ro-Sham-Bo?” Jim asked raising his eyebrows and holding out his fist.

                “Yes exactly, here,” He handed him Clementine, when the doors of the lift opened, then took off, sprinting down the hallway.

                “You jerk!” Jim shouted after him. “As your Captain I order you to come back here!”

                “Bones!”

                “Bones! Dah! He’s long gone,” Jim Grumbled, then looked down at Clementine’s amused face. “Daddy’s a bastard.”

                “Bastard!” Clementine laughed.

                “Shit no!” Jim gasped.

                “Shit!” She giggled.

               “Marking ‘Grasps the concept of speech’ down as a superior trait.” Spock spoke up from down the hall making Jim jump.

               “Spock hey! Would you like to-”

               “No.” Spock answered quickly, before turning and briskly walking out.

               “No wait, Spock come back you don’t even know…”


	6. clearly not an engineer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Works been eating me alive, and then I had no creative oomf, then I had to clean my room,  
> and got the idea for this chapter while trying to make my freaking bed.  
> I rushed through this, but didn't want to keep all of my three fans waiting so here is something before I run out the door,  
> Enjoy!  
> Also before I forget, i've definitely decided Spockums is going to be part of the family dynamic, just you wait!  
> This is extremely unedited btw.

Jim was aware of the two men watching from the door way, but he was purposefully ignoring them. The Quartermaster had offered to help, but if he was going to be a Papa, he was going to do things himself.

                “How long have you been at this Jimbo?” Leonard finally spoke up, covering his mouth as their brilliant Captain pinched his fingers between the headboard and side of the crib.

                “Shut up,” Jim grumbled sucking on his damaged finger.

                “Assistance is standing by if needed,” Spock added, hefting Clementine up onto his hip better. She reached up and grabbed his ear yanking it and cooing. Jim looked up at the two of them raising his eyebrows.

                “Oh, he’s not talking about us, he means one of the hundred or so ensigns on board.” Bones laughed shaking his head. “We are going to go feed and bathe Clementine, see you in a few hours.” With that he slipped his hand around Spock’s elbow and led him out. Jim’s original sleeping arrangements for Clementine for the duration of their mission seemed fool proof, he had pushed his bed against the wall and created a nest of pillows and blankets to make sure he didn’t roll over her in the night. Things had gone well the first two nights, but last night the wall had crumbled and she had crawled out onto him, three times he woke to her tiny fists smacking him in the face, he would roll over and put her back, but then it was her feet, getting him right in the side, and finally it was ‘Dawn’ and time for him to get ready for his shift. Plus, he definitely wanted some Leonard Horatio ‘Bones’ McCoy action, and he just couldn’t do that with a baby in the bed, so, here he was, building a baby cage, on his own, with no help, because he was a genius dammit! Oh God, did he really think that? Maybe he should be distancing himself from the Doctor, prevent any more of the mad southerner’s personality from bleeding over, it couldn’t be good for his condition. His condition being sleeplessness.

                “I thought he was going to let her sleep in his bed until we returned planet side.” Spock spooned another bite of synthesized crap into Clementine’s mouth.

                “Yes, well I believe I’ll be moving in with him, I think he could use the help.” McCoy thought back to that morning when he walked in to find Jim sitting on the bed, crying along with Clementine, begging her for five more minutes of sleep.

                “The Captain was crying?” Spock asked raising an eyebrow.

                “Manly Crying!” Jim shouted from behind them, startling them both. They turned and looked over their shoulder at him raising their eyebrows in perfect sync. “I’ll be back, I need to go find some things!” He declared marching past them, only to stop and place a kiss on Clementine’s head before slipping out.

                “Well… this should be interesting.” Leonard sighed turning back to Spock, who was scooping in another bite, mouth mimicking Clementine’s.

When Jim returned, Spock and McCoy were struggling to wash Clementine in the shallow basin of the bathroom sink, he walked right past them back into the bedroom not wanting them to see him. When they were done Spock took her out into the anteroom and dried her off, laying her down on the small couch.

                “Hey Spock,” Leonard called from the bedroom door. “You ever seen a human who has lost complete control of his life?” Spock looked after the Doctor’s voice confused, then back down at Clementine who only blinked back at him.

                “I have not lost control of my life,” Jim grumbled.

                “No, but you have lost control of this entire situation.” McCoy laughed, this made Spock even more curious and he stood scooping up the freshly diapered baby and carried her back towards the other two. Jim was completely tangled up in a small fitted sheet, and baby mattress.

                “Would you like help now?” Spock finally asked after a long moment of just watching. “Because I think Clementine could even finish this task.” Leonard let out a loud startled laugh clapping Spock on the shoulder.  


	7. Defective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to update every Sunday, but we shall see, not sure where I want to take this story...

Jim stood outside the exam room, hands up against the glass, as Bones, and M’Benga ran a full scanner over Clementine. She was staring up at them curiously, but remained completely still, Nurse Chapel gently stroking back her whispy black hair.

                “It’s gonna be fine Cap,” Sulu spoke up behind, smacking him hard on the back and making him jump.

                “Yes, Klingons are a very sturdy race Keptain,” Chekov chimed in, Jim furrowed his eyebrows and turned around to see his bridge crew standing behind him. Uhura, Spock, Sulu, Chekov, and even Carol, Scotty and Keenser smiled back at him.

                “Who is actually taking care of this ship right now?”

                “The Beta shift was more than happy to switch with us,” Spock nodded.

                “We thought Mr. New Daddy could use some support.” Uhura smiled warmly from behind Spock.

                “Really guys, it’s okay, I’m fine,” Jim reassured them before turning back around. “Why is he making that face!?” Jim gasped making them all jump. “Leonard, Leonard, why is he making that face Leonard!?” Jim tried to call through the glass, but Bones waved him off, switching on the privacy screen.

                “Sweetie, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Carol chimed in pulling him down into a chair. “Why don’t you just sit and relax until they are done?” When Leonard stepped out an hour later, he muttered a startled curse under his breath. Sulu, Chekov, and Scotty were all sitting cross legged on a bio bed, Carol was lounging in a chair, Uhura half in her lap, half leaning on the arm, and Jim in his own chair, Spock standing with his hand on his shoulder, like they were around some sort of bonfire, drinking beers and swapping stories. Jim looked like he was about to jump up but Spock’s hand kept him grounded.

                “I don’t know what in the blue hell you are all doing, but the scans are printing out now,” He walked out and into his office, Christine coming out, cradling a sleepy baby, who reached out for Jim the moment she saw him.

                “There’s Papa,” Christine cooed slipping her into Jim’s arms. She nuzzled his chest and yawned making Jim laugh a little.

                “You ready for a nappy nap baby doll?” He kissed her chubby cheeks swaying gently.

                “Alrighty, it seems our little Darlin’ here was born with only two lungs.” McCoy announced strolling back in. “Instead of the usual three seen in a Klingons, I am understanding things a little better. Their medical knowledge is almost non-existent; they were going to kill her out of mercy.”

                “Klingons don’t believe in mercy,” Jim shook his head. “And I wish you wouldn’t talk like that in front of her.” He chastised Bones, shielding her little ears.

                “Well either way, they wouldn’t have been able to help her.” McCoy sighed stroking his chin.

                “Why what’s going to happen?” Jim tensed.

                “Nothing that I could think of, or find right now, but we shall keep an eye out for any changes,” Leonard squeezed his shoulder then turned to look at the others. “Will you all stop clogging up my medbay now?! This is a place for healing, not a party house!”


	8. fresh air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay I think this is it for this setting, I'm going to move to earth drabbles now, I just wanted to get that out of the way. I have a surgery coming up so I may be updating more, or maybe less I don't know.

                “Captain, I need you and Doctor down here immediately,” Scotty’s voice rang out over the comm unit.

                “What’s wrong?! I’ll be right there!” Jim spoke quickly jumping to his feet.

                “I’m on my way,” McCoy added from his own office. They both arrived about the same time. Lieutenant Hannon was kneeling next to Clementine, rubbing her back slowly, her face filled with concern.

                “What happened, what did you do, I thought we could trust you!?” Jim fell to his knees on the other side of Clementine she had just started walking, and running around, but she was panting, struggling to get enough air.

                “Captain please, don’ yell at the lass, she wasn’t doin’ anything, they were runnin’ around having a good ol’ time when she became extremely winded.” Scotty jumped in.

                “Yes, from what I’ve read, Klingons should have very high endurance, I fear it may be from her missing lung.” Lieutenant Hannon spoke standing and stepping back.

                “From what you read?” Jim shook his head. “Stop reading about Klingons, or alien babies or whatever, it’s weird!” He scooped Clementine up and turned to Bones.

                “We’ll take her to the medbay, let’s go.” McCoy nodded.

 

 Jim waited patiently as Bones medicated and scanned Clementine, who was slowly drifting off more relaxed now.

                “From what I can see, it’s almost like Asthma,” He furrowed his eyebrows going over the readings. “Almost like… emphysema.”

                “Well… what does that mean?”

                “She might have to wear an oxy tank,” Bones brushed her hair back frowing.

                “She’s too little to have to lug one of those around.” Jim copied his frown.

                “We’ll figure it out, don’t worry,” Bones turned to Jim, who looked like he was about to cry. “Come on, it’s okay,” He pulled Jim into his arms kissing his cheek.

 

                “Captain! Captain! Captain!” Scotty called running onto the bridge. “Come here! We made something!” He grabbed Jim’s arm and pulled him up and onto the turbo lift.

                “Slow down what?”

                “Me, Lieutenant Hannon, Nurse Ophelia, and Doctor M’Benga have been working our asses off on something, it’ll solve all of little Clemmy’s problems!”

                “What? No way!” Jim’s eyes brightened and he quickly followed Scotty to the med bay.

                “Jim! Look at what your idiot crew put together!” Leonard’s voice was contradictory to the insult, a wide smile plastered across his face. They all moved to the side, revealing the adorable little Klingon toddler, a nasal cannula wrapped around her face, but it didn’t seem to be attached to anything.

                “Clementine, show Papa your new bow,” Lieutenant Hannon spoke, turning the little girl around. A large red bow was clipped into her messy coarse hair. Scotty knelt down and unclipped it, revealing a rebreather canister, similar to the ones he and Bones used during the Nibiru mission.

                “And when she starts to get wheezy,” M’Benga turned her back around, and she giggled getting slightly dizzy. “You just pinch these two buttons on her bracelet and it dispenses her medicine.”

                “Guys this is absolutely brilliant, how did you figure this all out?” Jim scooped his daughter up kissing her cheek, taking her hand to better inspect the bracelet.

                “Well we used that Ensign Rickie kid, he’s got some serious asthma, don’t even know how he passed his physicals, very expendable,” Nurse Ophelia shrugged with a laugh.

                “Yeah, all we had ta do was give ‘em a bottle of my worst rot gut.” Scotty smirked.


	9. The grandparents situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weather is absolutely amazing today, I was lying next to my open window enjoying the breeze as I wrote some of this this morning. I'm very sleepy, and doped up on some good pain killers but I did my best to bring you something, I wrote much more but it's not ready for consumption.  
> Plus I know I didn't really introduce Spock to the OT3 situation but I've kinda started writing these with no real sequence because I am lazy and that is how i am going to write them.

Seeing dirt and trees, lamp poles, yellow lines, the road speed by beneath you was something Jim hadn’t realized he missed as he watched it all out the window, one hand resting on Leonard’s over the console between them. He rested his head against the seat closing his eyes feeling the warm spring sun and breeze from the window tousle his hair, soaking it up.  Leonard glanced over smiling, then caught Spock’s relaxed face in the rear view mirror, his hand resting on Clementine’s sleeping head, keeping it from lolling back and forth. When he pulled into their new driveway he tried not to roll his eyes as his mother came running out, followed by Jim’s.

                “Distract them with the baby,” McCoy ordered meeting Jim’s eye.

                “I’ll just toss her at ‘em.” He nodded in affirmation; they both turned looking at Spock who only raised his eyebrow. “Toss Spockums in there too.”

                “Jimmy!” Winona called and he groaned unbuckling and stepping out, forcing a smile. “Welcome home baby!” She wrapped him in a tight smothering hug covering his face with kisses.

                “Please Mom, not in front of Spock,” He groaned hugging her back tightly.

                “Come on Lenny, get out of there and give your Momma a kiss,” Jim laughed turning his head still trapped in his mother’s embrace to see McCoy brooding in the car, looking up at his mother through the window, his face bright red. He shook his head and she crossed her arms giving him the McCoy eyebrows and he sighed stepping out.

                “Hullo Momma,” he grunted letting her pull him down by the neck to kiss his cheek.

                “You are too skinny,” she chided.

                “Where’s the baby!?” Winona squealed letting go of Jim and clapping her hands.

                “It’s safe Spock, come on out,” Jim called over his shoulder rolling his eyes at his mother. Spock nodded unbuckling the toddler cradling her carefully as he slipped out of the backseat.

                “Ohhhhhhhhhh!” Winona squealed.

                “Mom please,” Jim gasped covering his ears.

                “I’m sorry but just look at this little muffin!” She held her hands out to the drowsy baby cooing. “Eleanora come here!” Clementine blinked up confused and sleepy but went to the arms of the strange eager woman anyway. “Come to Grandma, look at you!” She pulled the toddler close smothering her face with kisses. Leonard’s mother appeared looking around Winona’s shoulder smiling fondly.

                “A cute little tyke, let Memaw see you,” the two women causually fought over the chubby Klingon before Spock cleared his throat.

                “She is due for some lunch,” he flushed green when both women looked up at him shock, melting into knowing smiles before nodding.

-     

                “I have come to see the benefits of a child having Grandmothers, not matter how illogical they may seem,” Spock paused as a loud duel engine Grandma coo/screech erupted from the great room, and echoed throughout the rest of the small home. “Unfortunately, with my mother’s passing, I cannot provide one for the little one,” He paused raising his hand to cut off both Jim and Leonard’s motions to comfort him. “I do have a father, if you wouldn’t mind; I would like to introduce them, that is, if you were allowing me to continue having a hand in raising Clementine.”

                “Of course you’re in this with us Spock, no question, as for your Father, do you really think Sarek will come all this way, we could arrange a trip to New Vulcan if you would like.” Jim placed a hand on his first officers arm giving it a squeeze.

                “Having a meeting in his comfort zone does not seem like a bad idea, nor does it seem a poor place to break the news should he… reject it negatively.” Spock nodded and Leonard frowned.

                “You are all your father has left Spock, I’m sure he’d be very happy to see you and your new family, no matter what the species.” He rested his hand on Spock’s other arm before pulling him into a tight hug that shocked both Jim and Spock, before Jim smirked and joined in.

                “Hug!” Clementine wheezed skidding into the kitchen and wrapping her arms around their legs. Both humans pulled back from Spock as he bent pinching her bracelet and scooping her up resting her body against his chest.

                “Bringin’ it back in now!” Leonard cheered throwing his arms around Jim and Spock once more, leaning down to kiss Clementine’s slightly rough forehead.


	10. Naked Klingon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly adding more depth to the characterization... maybe...  
> I had a long exhausting day and just tagged on the ending before posting.  
> In my mind Jim just jumped into this parenting thing, he didn't really think about it or plan it,  
> and I think I'm going to have him realize that soon.  
> He's more of a second guesser when it comes to Clem because I mean, he's got some serious daddy issues himself.  
> Leonard is a natural, technically this is his second kid so i see him as being more calm,  
> and Spock... well he's probably freaking out on the inside a little.  
> I spent all day at the Buffalo Zoo, the Science Museum, and the Galleria mall so I am completely wiped, but be warned there is a Zoo outing coming up, and a Science Museum day trip with Grandpa Sarek,so hang in there with me, depending on how pleasant my family is tomorrow for Easter Sunday I may get some writing in.

                “JIM NAKED BABY!” McCoy shouts as a sopping wet bubble covered baby tares past him down the long hallway.

                “Clementine get back here!” Jim came skittering out of the bathroom behind her equally as wet, completely clothed. “No running! You don’t have your bow in!”

                “I thought Spock was helping you?” he watched as Jim slipped on the wood and slammed down on his ass Clementine sliding into the kitchen and crawling under the table.

                “I am,” Spock appeared also sopping wet tangled in the hose from the shower, his face looking mildly horrified.

                “What happened to you Darlin’,” Leonard bit back a smirk stepping over to Spock, unwinding the hose from his shoulders.

                “She’s stronger than she looks,” his face flushed as the Doctor’s hand wiped away water droplets from his face.

                “I’ll be sure to note that down in her firsts journal,” McCoy chuckled stepping back and going down the stairs to the kitchen, crouching down. “Come on Clem, you want to go meet yer big sister tomorrow don’t cha?” Clementine regarded him for a moment, then nodded slowly, “Well then come on, let’s go get washed up you little monster.” She let out a sigh and crawled out before going limp in Bones’ arms. “She’s going wet noodle! Don’t go wet noodle!” He grunted trying to get the both of them up off the floor. “There’s only one cure for limp noodles, and that’s BELLY TICKLES!” He shouted attacking her tummy with his hands, fingers scrambling across her damp torso. She snapped up giggling and he carried her back up the small flight of stairs past Jim who was still lying on the floor.

                “What!? What!? She’s going with you just like that!? It took all my best techniques to just get her to consider stepping into the bathroom- whatever just wait until it’s time to put her in the tub.” Jim grumbled Spock helping him up onto his feet. They trailed behind Bones who simply set her down into the bubbly water and began to rewet her hair. “Seriously!? Seriously!? It took Spock and I ten minutes-”

                “It’s alright Jim, I’m just the bath whisperer.”

                “The bath whisperer?” Spock asked confused.

                “It’s nothing Spock, it’s just another thing Leonard is better at than me.” Jim pouted.

                “Jim,” McCoy sighed looking up at his partner frowning. “That’s not true.”

               “No, no, both of you would do just fine without me! I mean hell Spock can get her to eat veggies, you can get her to bathe, I can’t even get her to put socks on.” He shook his head turning and storming out. Leonard let out a long sigh, hand still resting on Clementine’s back, before looking up at Spock.

              “He’s been feeling very sensitive lately,” Spock tilted his head.

              “He told you that?”

              “Just an observation,” He set the shower hose down on the sink and turned grabbing Leonard dry towels. “Would you like me to talk to him, or shall we do it together?”

              “Together, let me just rinse the rugrat.” He finished washing up Clementine before draining the tub and scooping her up into the warm towel, snuggling her close. “Let’s go cheer up Papa.” The three of them headed into their large master bedroom where Jim was lying face down, his wet clothes laying in a pile by the door. “Papa, we brought you a wet baaaaabyyyyyyyyy,” Bones’ sing songed.

              “Don’t,” Jim grumped, face still buried in a pillow. “She’s better without me.”

              “Oh nonsense Jim, she loves you, right Clementine, you love Papa?” Clementine flopped out of his arms onto the bed and crawled up Jim’s back flopping down on his head, her naked buns high in the air.

              “If she pees on me, I’m setting you all on fire,” Jim mumbled.

              “Oh come on Jim, just give her some snuggles, she loves you.”

              “Well she shouldn’t, the only way I won’t mess her up is if I leave now.”

              “It is rather hard to take your sullen attitude seriously with a naked Klingon on your head.” Spock raised his eyebrow and Jim scoffed knowing he was doing it without even looking, before pushing Clementine gently off and rolling over.

              “Papa!” She giggled. “Papa! Papa!”

              “Aw, her first non-curse word,” Leonard sniffled.

              “Yes, yes, Papa, Papa,” Jim echoed dryly, finally giving in and sitting up, pulling her into his chest, she nuzzled him, wetting his shirt even more.

              “That’s right, and you’re not going to mess anything up, because we are doing this as a team. You, me, and Spock are going to raise the most badass kid ever and you know it. So quit pitying yourself, and help me get this thing into her bed, because lord knows neither Spock nor I can even do that.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wet Noodle is obviously the medical term for when a small child decides to be a little shit, their skeletal system warps into a rubbery like substance and it is nearly impossible to hold onto them. I have experienced this phenomenon with both my younger siblings and my nephew, all of them, little. shits.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this picture some where of Kirk and a Baby klingon and someone was talking about a head canon they had about Klingons killing their defective offspring, I can't find it anywhere now, but I've been thinking about this story for a while. I also have literally thousands of stories written and hardly any published because lets be honest, people can be cruel and I'm a wuss. Going to post this in chapters I believe.


End file.
